I ran away today. Escaped reality.
I went to a spot by the sea and sat on a park bench overlooking the city. I tried to make out familiar landmarks on the other side of the water. I watched boats pass. I saw two little girls comb the beach for shells and watched their faces with fascination as they lit up with each treasured find. I heard a few words pass between them but mostly the wind caught their voices up and carried them away. I sat and pondered life and questioned God and searched my heart and the sky for answers. I didn't really find any. But I left with a peace that I didn't have when I got there. Sometimes it takes a moment away from life to enable us to continue in it. A pause.
I spoke about brokenness the other day. I still feel broken. But a purposeful brokenness. Contradiction? Well maybe, but as much as I hate how this season feels, I just know that it has an important purpose. I don't know what that purpose it, just that there is one.
Brokenness is the deep heart surgery that God performs on us to make us more like Him. It's the sweet aroma of the perfume called sacrifice. Brokenness is beauty. It doesn't feel like beauty or smell like it or taste like it, but it is. Because it costs something. Something of me. The somethings of me that need to die and be filled with more of Him. To live is Christ and to die is gain. How beautiful to pour ourselves out at the feet of Jesus. It is worship. Brokenness acknowledges my deep need for Jesus and only Jesus. Because I am not enough. I can't do it in my strength. I try and fail. But he is enough when I don't have it all together. And right now, I don't. It makes me run deeper into his arms and closer to his voice. Because I need him and because he is big enough and strong enough and just enough.
I went to a spot by the sea and sat on a park bench overlooking the city. I tried to make out familiar landmarks on the other side of the water. I watched boats pass. I saw two little girls comb the beach for shells and watched their faces with fascination as they lit up with each treasured find. I heard a few words pass between them but mostly the wind caught their voices up and carried them away. I sat and pondered life and questioned God and searched my heart and the sky for answers. I didn't really find any. But I left with a peace that I didn't have when I got there. Sometimes it takes a moment away from life to enable us to continue in it. A pause.
Brokenness is the deep heart surgery that God performs on us to make us more like Him. It's the sweet aroma of the perfume called sacrifice. Brokenness is beauty. It doesn't feel like beauty or smell like it or taste like it, but it is. Because it costs something. Something of me. The somethings of me that need to die and be filled with more of Him. To live is Christ and to die is gain. How beautiful to pour ourselves out at the feet of Jesus. It is worship. Brokenness acknowledges my deep need for Jesus and only Jesus. Because I am not enough. I can't do it in my strength. I try and fail. But he is enough when I don't have it all together. And right now, I don't. It makes me run deeper into his arms and closer to his voice. Because I need him and because he is big enough and strong enough and just enough.
Such a lovely post Jo-Ann! And true. Reminds me of that John Piper quote: "The quickest to the heart is through a wound."
ReplyDeleteSo I feel like dirt telling you that your brokenness is helping me, but I think it's true. And I'm sorry. This is the first time that I've read your blog and this post is what came up and honestly I really think I needed to hear it. It kinda made something in me click and as a result I think I am more well equipped to handle my brokenness. So I guess I should say thank you for sharing about brokeness...but it makes me feel so mean. But I'll do it anyway. Thanks, Jo-Ann, you have really helped me today.
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Well I'm glad to encourage you back. :) Anytime!
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