Broken

I'm not going to lie. These are hard days. They're grey and cloudy and rain threatens more often than not.
My heart is trepidation and anticipation. I'm on the brink on something. But what?
I can feel something stir. An unease, a restlessness.
It's the knowing. This is my fight. There are battles ahead.
Will it be worth it? Will I come out unscathed? Or will I be broken?
What if I am wounded? Scarred? Will I be made whole?
I just ran out of bandaids. I can't pretend anymore. I don't even know where to start.
You can bandage the damage but you never really can fix a heart.
Can I trust Him to avoid being hurt? What if I get hurt anyway?
Can He make that beautiful again? Maybe more beautiful?
Will He take me, broken? Just broken, incomplete and unworthy.
Can I risk something when I don't know how much I'm risking?  It might be everything.
It's dark. I journey this on my own.
It's dangerous. I stand to lose.
Can I trust Him?